Facts about Gay Bath Houses
About a mile from my house is this very curious nondescript white brick shop with no windows and only an industrial-looking metal door with cameras focused on it. It sits in a row of thoroughly normal shops selling flowers, beauty supplies, used books, and clothes. Only a very simple sign exists giving the name of the place. I've passed by it hundreds of times; it's on a major street. I've always wondered what it was, and finally this week I did a Google search. It's a gay bath house. Which made me curious about what exactly is a gay bath house? I mean, I live in the world, I have heard vague jokes or references to gay bath houses in San Francisco, but does sex occur there? Does it occur there legally or illegally? What is it all about?
Wow. I spent a few hours investigating gay bath houses online today, and boy, there's a lot I didn't know:
- Men go to gay bath houses to have sex
- Sex at gay bath houses is legal (generally the zoning allows it)
- Bath houses provide free lube and condoms (generally)
- You pay an entrance fee to get into the bath house (membership)
- You also pay to rent a small locker and/or a room
- Rooms in gay bath houses are not like hotel rooms, they are just big enough for a mattress
- Men will lie on the bed in the room with the door open as an invitation to men to come in and have sex
- Men have sex in the public areas, like the saunas/tubs/steam rooms/etc. (maybe not at every facility allows this)
- Men often go to the bath houses after striking out at bars/clubs on Friday/Saturday nights
- Different times of day are good to find different types of men. If your thing is "bears" maybe you find out the XYZ bath house has a lot of them on Tuesday evenings. Or if your thing is college-aged guys maybe it's Wednesday afternoons.
- Supposedly a lot of (otherwise) "straight" guys go just to receive oral sex.
- People are apparently respectful of others boundaries and you can just go to do or receive what you want.
It was interesting but more than a little shocking. I have just never thought about sex in these terms. I'm a romantic, monogamous, a germaphobe, and heterosexual, so it wouldn't work at all for me, but it's certainly fascinating to know other people get up to such things and view sex in different terms. "Hmm, well, my friends were busy tonight, I'm not dating anyone, and I'm a little bored. Naked Gun 2 1/2 is on TV in a few minutes, or... I could go down the street, pay $15, relax in a sauna, and then get oral sex as many times as I want."
My mind can't get itself around the disease risk. Condoms may be very good at preventing the spread of HIV, but not much help with things like herpes or HPV. Ick! Maybe if I didn't have any disease fear I'd be open to things like one night stands, but I don't think so. I think it's more an emotional thing for me and less a fear thing. And I'd have to stick with women as partners, I don't seem attracted to men.
Anyway, I found quite a few sites on this topic and was amazed to realize how open this stuff has been, see the Continental Baths in New York City (where Bette Midler and Barry Manilow got their starts performing). Reading quite a lot of people's personal stories about their favorite bath houses and experiences was enlightening. One such site with stories was History of Gay Bath Houses [WARNING: Naked men engaged in gay things shown in the ads on the site!!!]; I came across some better sites, but I'm not sure where they got to.
^Q
